What is it about alcohol that makes bad ideas seem so good?

Alcohol and CG usually don't mix too well. Sometimes I feel like I should write a book sort of like "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie" but instead call it "If you Give a Clown a Beer". It's like I have my regular personality "CG" and my alternative drunk personality: El Bitcho. I feel like the hulk, except instead of getting really angry and green...I get really drunk and mean.  Oh hey rhyming, 'sup?

I wish i hit the gym this much.....

Chinese proverb: Alcohol makes the ballsy get ballsier.

This past Sunday, I woke up to find that I had left the contents of my purse all over the city and had to run around retrieving them to the best of my ability. Well look at that, drunk CG created herself a SCAVENGER HUNT!
Also my purse was in the fridge.
Also there was a sandwich in it.
Also I apparently had tried to swim in a fountain the night before.
Also I almost got a ticket twice.

Pick up Lines that Don't Work on Cuties:
"I just fell on my face and scraped my knee outside of second cup. Want to see my cut? It's bleeding"

I'm just so freakin' sexy.

xoxo,
-Clown Girl